Two Laughs in One Day

I went to lunch with my co-worker today and mentioned that I saw a picture of a guy wearing Girbaud jean shorts over the weekend and how much it took me back. Her response, "What are Girbaud's?" WHAT?!?! It made me feel very old. Once I started explaining them, she had a vague recollection of them. Really? How could one resist a guy in such pants? Mel, maybe you could tell us since I bet Todd has a pair in the closet. :)

Daddy Knows Best

I got this from my dad today. He either read my previous post or sensed that I needed a good laugh. Either way, this made me giggle!

INSTALLING A HUSBAND 

Dear Tech Support, 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. 

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. 

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 

What can I do? 
Signed, Desperate 
------------------------------------------------------ 

Dear Desperate: 
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'I Thought You Loved Me.exe' and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. 

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. 

But remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. 

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). 

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. 

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. 

Good Luck, Tech Support

Done.

Today I am done with being alone. That's all. Just done. Now what to do about it...

Gratitude

I just read a little blog post in the Wall Street Journal about teaching kids gratitude. I think this is an important lesson for all of us, not just kids. I really like the idea about writing down things that make us smile or laugh. It's nice to remember that there are good things in our days!

Everything I Learned about Safe Deposit Boxes...

This just happened and is representative of a typical conversation here at my wonderful office:

Male Co-Worker #1 to MCW #2: "You're a manly man, right? If I were getting a 3x5 safe deposit box, which is the height and depth?"

Me (chiming in): "Usually there's a height, width and depth, you're missing a number."

Discussion continues...

MCW 1: "So it would be 3 feet by 5 feet."

Me: "That box would be almost as deep as I am tall!!!"

MCW 1: "But I just figured that it would be big. The one he pulls out in The Bourne Identity is pretty big."

The conversation goes on and gets to this point:

Female Co-Worker: "Do you even know how safe deposit boxes work? You have to give them ID and all sorts of stuff."

MCW 1: "No! In The Bourne Identity they use biometrics and stuff!"

Me: "So, basically, everything you know about safe deposit boxes, you learned from The Bourne Identity."

MCW 1: "Exactly!"

Maybe it's only funny to me. But we're supposed to be a professional organization and here is our controller learning from movies. Classic. 

Church History Weekend!

This trip was such an incredible experience! There are too many pictures to post, but I created a Picasa album if you're interested. There were around 80 members of my ward that attended, plus the bishopric and their wives and a member of the stake presidency and his wife. We went to Indepence, Liberty Jail, Far West, Nauvoo, Carthage, Mt. Pisgah, and Winter Quarters. Here are the highlights:

Independence and Adam-ondi-Ahman:

• Community of Christ Temple: We went on a tour and this was the hardest thing for me to hear. I think it may have been because, somewhere along the line, they had the fullness of the gospel and turned away from it. Also, the tour guide had a hard time articulating answers to the questions she was asked. It seems like they are more of a corporation and they prefer to push any responsibility and accountability to their congregations. She also said they were focused on peace and community building, but when asked what they do to build communities, she couldn't answer. Just my perception, but it was difficult.
  
• Did you know that the Saints had to have a special recommend to even move to Independence? I didn't.
• Adam-ondi-Ahman really is heaven on earth. The fact that we were able to visit right after a rainstorm probably added to the effect, but I loved the peaceful feeling there.

Nauvoo and Carthage:

• My great-great-great-grandpa, Daniel Spencer, was the mayor of Nauvoo after Joseph was martyred. 
• Carthage was such a moving experience for me. I don't have words for what I felt, but I do feel more connected to the early Saints and Joseph Smith because of my visit there. Thanks to Liz for letting me listen to Willard Richard's recounting of the event; it was such a good complement to everything I learned at the jail.
• Walking the Trail of Hope to the Mississippi and looking across the river, knowing the Saints had no choice but to cross it in freezing cold weather made me realize that I have been asked to sacrifice nothing in comparison to them. I am so grateful for their sacrifices and what they have given me.
• A couple that I grew up down the street from in Logan is serving a mission there. Very strange to run into them.
• We were able to have our Sacrament Meeting in the groves in Nauvoo. Although there was a woodpecker having a good time drilling into a tree, the meeting was very special and we got to learn all sorts of things about the rebuilding of the Nauvoo temple (which is beautiful).

Mount Pisgah:

• Settlement in Iowa for the Saints to rest at. The man who owns the land is not LDS, but wants to keep people visiting because of the historical importance of the site. It was very beautiful. 
• We were fed by the local Methodist church. This was such a neat experience for me. First of all, it was the best meal we at the whole trip. Second, after we ate, we were able to go into their chapel, learn about their religion, and sing some songs with their priest. Once we were done singing with him, we sang "God Be With You Til We Meet Again"...and I lost it. These people did such a great service for us, and I was truly grateful and could really feel the spirit there.

Winter Quarters/Kanesville:

• One of the guys in my ward hit on a sister missionary there.
• The temple is beautiful. There is some incredible stained glass done there.
• I was all by myself.

Other Highlights from the Trip:

• The high jump in our room.
• Craziness ensuing as soon as we hit the hotel room at night.
• My flight home being moved four times, the last being 15 minutes later than the original departure. 
• Having to go on the other bus the last day because of my dumb flight. I really missed everyone on my bus and was all by myself for the majority of the day.
• Buffalo Cold - Being so cold, you would sleep inside a buffalo; dead or alive. This is how we felt most nights in our hotel rooms.
• Fried Chicken Good - Basically sums up the food on the trip. We had three options for dinner most nights, and all of them were a gamble. The fried chicken actually ended up being the best bet.

I'm sure there are so many other things I am forgetting, but it's late. I loved the trip and am so glad I got the opportunity to go!

Amendment to Randomness

So, according to one person's beliefs, my post last night was incomplete. Because how could I be having the time of my life without her? Witness this person below.

Yes, my week would have been incomplete without the visit to her house. We had tons of fun catching up (it's only been a few weeks since we've seen each other, but it felt like forever) and talking about all of the decorating ideas for her house. So, with this amendment, I really am having the time of my life!

Recent Randomness in My Life

I know I need to post my church history trip (which was wonderful), but I couldn't not post all of the good, funny and random things that have happened in my life lately, so here it goes:

Good:

*I have awesome bosses! I got to talk to my boss in Brazil for the first time in a while today. Sometimes I don't think I miss him, and then I talk to him and realize that I kind of do. He was reminding me that I need to get married in order to gain celestial glory. And my new boss is great! He and his wife are getting settled and I did some stuff to help them out - nothing that I felt was above and beyond - but they gave me a nice gift as a thank you anyway!

*Awesome roommates! The girls I live with are always entertaining (see Random below).

*General good feelings about life. I love it. 

Funny:

*My co-worker's wife came in with their kids today and I was asking his son (3) if his new baby sister cried a lot and he said, "Yeah, but she's happy a lot, too." And then he went on his merry way with the Oreos I gave him.

Random:

*Guys giving very specific compliments:

-"I really like the shoes you wore yesterday"

-"I like that you wear high heels"

-"I like your sunglasses. You know how everyone has 'a thing'? Mine are sunglasses."

It's very off-putting to have a guy try to pinpoint something so particular to compliment. I prefer generalizations, like, "You look really nice today." Especially when I hardly know the guy, or in the case of the sunglasses, don't know the guy at all.

*The Dirty Dancing Concert - Did you know this is on the DVD? It's on my roommate's copy and oh so enlightening. Look at the great clip below. 

My roommate then proceeded to tell me that she kind of had a crush on the guy (something about 80's hair, I think).

Anyway, the church history post will come soon. For now I'm having the time of my life!