Monday, September 22, 2008

Daddy Knows Best

I got this from my dad today. He either read my previous post or sensed that I needed a good laugh. Either way, this made me giggle!

INSTALLING A HUSBAND 

Dear Tech Support, 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. 

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. 

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 

What can I do? 
Signed, Desperate 
------------------------------------------------------ 

Dear Desperate: 
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'I Thought You Loved Me.exe' and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. 

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. 

But remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, 
HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. 

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). 

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. 

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. 

Good Luck, Tech Support

3 comments:

kurt and ash said...

Hi Karen!! I love this post! I copied and pasted into my email and sent it to all my friends! :) Tell Buuuud, good one!! :)

Katie said...

Oh my!! I love this!! It's probably not a good idea for me to go on and on about how true I think this is, because soon I'll probably find one these about the Wife 1.0 opertating system and the difficulties with it. Yikes!! Awesome that your dad sent it to you.

Lizzy said...

Makes me grateful for what I've got...what do I have again??? I'm not sure I even have a computer to run any application on...oh well. ;)